Whats up wreckless people?!

So I told myself I was going to start off 2016 strong and consistent so accept this as my effort, two weeks into the year as just that. For the past couple of years, I always enjoyed looking back at the past year and highlighting personal strides and outstanding moments of that year. To make it easier, I just go month by month and highlight those great moments!! This helps me acknowledge my blessings but also put things into perspective of how even more awesome I am becoming! So cheers to the new year and here ate the Top Moments in my life from 2015.

January

At this point I had a six month old baby at home but a few months from this time I started getting back on stage to perform again. I signed up for a competition at Gotham Comedy club and this month was when I advanced to the 2nd round. It was after this performance that Jerry Seinfield made an appearance and made this show even better!!! Check out the picture below, my friends and I were stoked.

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February

What was significant during this time was me gaining more and more independence. When you have an infant, your life is solely dedicated to them and you remain inseparable for sometime. I remember partying a bit more this month and in result, I lost my cell phone. After attempting to replace it at Sprint and them giving me a difficult time, I ended up leaving that provider. Top moment of the month goes to me leaving Sprint! The best decision EVER!!!

 

March

So after a year of growing beautiful locs, I decided it was time for a  change. I remember being super scared and afraid because I had always been doing things with my hair and couldn’t imagine myself without it. After a few moments of thinking to myself, I decided to cut each loc off one by one and free myself from the fear. Best decision of 2015! I am still loving the look!

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April

This month was pretty low key but I remember dating a lot around this time. In one night I managed three dates and I remember asking myself, “are you on a mission?” lol Also this month I went to see Chicago on Brodway. That was a treat to see Brandy and her genuine talent.

May

I turned twenty great. Celebration included; silent clubbing, hookah, drinks, and a weekend trip to DC to turn up with my sisters!!! #epic

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June

This month was like finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I celebrated one year of mommy hood! I made it!!! It was truly getting a bit easier as they say and the celebration was perfect. My family came into town, we took photos, threw my baby a party and then I had a grown up celebration as well. Definitely a defining moment of the year! Of course my sisters were there:-)

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July

Panama! Panama! viva la panama!!! If you didn’t know, then now you know; my family is from Panama and for the first time I went to my country of origin. It was an interesting vacation but nonetheless Im glad I went and was able to say I have seen where I am from:-)

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August

My friend got married. She asked me to host her wedding. Just awesome! truly a great month!!! Congratulations friend! This girl means so much to me and my family, its ridiculous! For this entire year she dedicated her Mondays to come and watch my son while I go out and perform! Its people like this who exemplifies what it means for a village to raise a child! I love you and Paul always!!!

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September

One place; Barbados. Oh my!!! This was a great treat! I took a sister’s trip to Barbados and it was the best time ever! I slept! I drank ALOT! and I just enjoyed the free time in the son on some land surrounded by water. It was great!

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October

So I got a call from Neko probably a couple months from this October to perform at Carolines with him to headline. It was such an honor to perform there and watch how much he has grown as a comic and see who came out to support him. Well everybody crushed it that night in front of almost two hundred people and he effortlessly did almost an hour on stage. This was definitely a highlight of 2015:-)

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November

This was a quiet month. Thanksgiving was interesting with family and I think the only thing I could recognize was my son’s father finally paying his child support. He had to pay $500 to avoid going to jail. “bitch better have my money” bwahahahahaha No but seriously I actually started a podcast with my girl Stephanie McRae called Petty Influence. Get with it! Its pretty much where we have great girl talk and conversations exposing some of everything:-)

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December

Finally to close out the year, I got the news of getting a new job!!! Now if anybody knows me personally this was a huge victory because I had been applying and going on several interviews for a while now. To know 2016 was bringing these many blessings was a perfect way to end the year and bring the cheer. I like how that rhymed;-) Also this month I performed at Gotham Comedy club again and was getting on the stage quite a bit. Very much appreciated for my family and friends!!

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Thank you for going down memory lane with me and to all those who continue to support me! I love you! What were some of your personal highlights of 2015? As always share, comment, and like below!

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

Whats up wreckless people?!

Its been a minute. This is usually the case though. Im definitely working on making this blog even better than what it is so definitely stick with me. The other day I was speaking to my best friend and he admitted to missing my blog posts. Thanks friend!!! Honestly I told him that Ive been in a very angry/frustrated place and I didn’t want my blogs to reflect that nor sound like complaints nor me just straight venting. Sometimes you just want to be positive with your art. Its like that saying, “If you don’t have anything good to say then don’t say it at all.” My friend said that the things I was going through was comical and that sometimes its good to hear about my life outside of when Im on stage. I considered what he said and I gave it some thought but what really inspired me to write today was a blog post from comedian Judy Carter. I love reading her blogs and recently she wrote a post about effective speaking skills. I love how she encouraged her readers to expose their messes of their past as a way to create a connection with their audience. I even scrolled down to the comment section and read stories of what people have had to deal with and I felt relieved. In comparison to my issues, things didn’t seem as bad anymore. So thank you Judy Carter for that blog.

Anyway people, what I’ve been dealing with unfortunately there isn’t a success story as of yet and so thats why I titled the blog the way I did. I actually can’t wait until my mess is a success. Come on success! As my readers know, I am a new mother. Yes, my son is a toddler now so people would challenge the “new”. However,  I still wake up feeling like, “Who baby is this?” and “What was I thinking?” Everyday I am presented with new challenges and often times I ask God, “Seriously! What else?” So when it starts feeling old, I will refrain from saying I’m a new mom. Until then, Im new to this, not true to this!

Definitely after reading that blog it made me think of how I have been dealing with my mess until it becomes a success. I have to admit that currently it is a just a mess. I’m in a place where motherhood seems extremely tough and apparently people around me along with the standard societal view says, “SUCK IT UP.” Im not sure if people realize this but mothers have to take a lot of crap. Meanwhile, fathers can do one thing and get praised for it. It seems because the idea of father’s absence is very common, even if they see their child once a week, this is deemed as something positive. I have actually heard people say, “well at least the father is around”. Meanwhile I’m around twenty-four hours around the clock, feeling like life is sinking in over on my head, overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and all I get is people telling me, “What did you expect, this is how it is” response.

I wish this same response to fathers doing the bare minimum actually applied to real life situations like staying employed. If only your boss could say, “Well at least Aminah shows up for work, doesn’t matter if she is actually doing any work, better yet lets give her a raise”. Yeah no this will happen never.

So basically I have gone from co-parenting to single parenting in the past few months and even thought it’s definitely more difficult, there is peace in knowing that I am standing up for what I feel is right and I’m not settling for what I know my son doesn’t deserve; a part-time, selfie for Instagram/dead beat father. The same applies to how no parent would keep their child in a school where they felt they weren’t learning or thriving. That is a fact.

Anyway so things are a mess right now. I have family members disowning me, people shaming my name, and even worst, emotionally I sometimes can’t call it; I can be up or really down. In the past seven months, I have done several things that I’m not so proud of. I am bitter with this situation but today is a new day and I can finally say I have been trying to stay positive and turn my mess into a success. Here is how:

  • Focus

There are so many things I have to do. Im producing my own comedy show; get tickets here. I perform stand up comedy at least twice a week, I’m working on building my brand, I’m starting a podcast, creating youtube content, and on top of my responsibilities, I am a mother. If I even regurgitate my weekly schedule as a mom, I would exhaust you. With this being said, I am busy. Having a focus helps with dealing with the mess in my life. Sometime there is no room to dwell on life’s injustices when you have a little one relying on you along with dreams, passions, and desires.

  • Prayer

This has been a struggle for me. Often times I am quick to call a friend or family member to vent and discuss life’s happenings but it’s good to remember that God wants you to rely on him. So everyday I try to remind myself of my faith and remember that God will take care of all my worries especially if I decide to surrender.

  • Self Love and Self Care

You have to take care of yourself. Remind yourself that you aren’t your current circumstances and you love you regardless of what you go through. Doing things that make you feel good about you and nurturing yourself is necessary on a daily basis. I try to create time to take a long shower, paint my nails, or enjoy a favorite meal. Sometimes it’s the small things that are necessary to keep you going.

  • Laugh

This one often times comes extremely easy and I am very grateful for this. It allows myself not to be so hard on myself and take myself so seriously. Even when I take actions out of bitterness and pettiness, I can laugh at them and reassure myself that things will get better. I like to watch funny videos online, go to shows, and even read celebrity gossip to get a good laugh. It is important to laugh.

  • Seek help

Things can get overwhelming. A while back I attempted to seek therapy and then I put it off but this week I have made it my priority to commit to seeking therapy. Mental health is important and I realize things are getting overwhelming and to have unbiased support from a professional may be in my best interest. Whether you look for therapy or not, knowing when you need help is important so whatever route you take to get assistance is great. It is better to ask than to not ask at all.

I’m not perfect and I know I am doing the best I can. I can’t wait to share my upcoming projects with you guys and ultimately I know my mess will be a success because I want it to. There should be a desire to be better. As always share, comment, and respond in the comment section below. How are you dealing with your messes? Did your mess become a success? I’d love to hear!

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

 

 

Whats up wreckless people?!

I hope everybody survived the hurricane weather this past weekend! Even though the weather was gloomy, I was able to wake up bright and early on Saturday to attend the Pink Yoga Event at the Bloomingdale‘s 59th street New York City location. I have to give a huge shout out to my friend, Tykia, who invited me along for the fun. She has a blog, Agamine, which includes things to do on the weekend, art, music, and more beautiful things that life has to offer.

The Pink Yoga event was exactly what it sounds like; a yoga class. Tons of pink mats were spreaded over the floor of Bloomingdale with a bag full of great items for each participant. We were also able to keep the mat as well! I love free stuff! I was definitely happy to participate in this event. Not just for the free stuff but also because October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month and this event was put together to raise awareness. Many people know about breast cancer but especially being a woman its important to remember to take the steps to be aware of our own status. The proceeds from the event benefited the Tutu Project and Cancer Vixen(a book written by a breast cancer survivor). So what better way to celebrate Breast Cancer Awareness in October with a great cause:) October is just getting started so I encourage you to partake in the efforts as well. In Aminah fashion, I took a few photos to share with you guys. So check them out below and as always comment, like, and share.

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

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Whats up wreckless people?!

October is here!!! WOW! The end of the year is near but if you are anything like me, you can’t even think that far in advanced. You are simply taking it one day at a time. That is where I am completely. Don’t get me wrong, I have sat down with myself and written out goals that I want to accomplish and have been brainstorming ways I can gain more income and hone my craft more. However, to simplify my life, one day at a time makes me feel more at ease and less stressed.

This week was a good week. I met up with a friend who is a photographer and took some shots. Apparently the internet thinks I am still wearing braces with a big fro. So I figured its time to update my profile. Before I wrote this blog I thought to myself, “I should’ve channeled my inner Michelle Obama”. This week she was encouraging young girls in Harlem to focus on school and emphasized the importance of self appreciation. But like the title of this blog says, “Should’ve, could’ve, would’ve, but DIDN’T”. I will more than likely need new pictures really soon but I think we got at least one good photo.

That is simply what I’m here to talk about. Most of these blogs I write are things that I am personally dealing with and need to remind myself of all the time. I know my readers can relate and I always appreciate the feedback wether its in person or online. But how do you deal with your past failures and mistakes? What stops you from dwelling on the things you regret most and push forward for the better?

This is a struggle for me on a daily basis. Often times, I wake up feeling motivated, I get started with my “things to do” list then mid afternoon the feeling lurks in and catches me off guard; leaving me wondering why hadn’t I done things differently and staring off in a “fuck my life” gaze. This can’t be good, but like all things, its a process. Listed below are ways to deal with your past failures and mistakes.

 

  • Remind yourself that nothing is permanent.

Life gives us trials and tribulations on a daily basis. We’ve had to deal with them since we took our first breath. Nothing remains permanent in your life. If there is something you want different, give it the focus and attention it deserves and create that change.

  • Everything happens for a reason

I know this sounds cliche, but regardless of if you know the reason or not, everything that happens to you is for a reason and apart of your life’s journey. Life happenings are only pathways to your destination, your life’s destiny. Keep your head up!

  • There is always something to laugh about

Recently I got into an argument with a close person in my life. We were extremely heated, both said some things that we didn’t mean. Even from the harsh and heated argument, a week later we were able to sit and laugh at how petty and ignorant the comments were. I say all this to say that even from the ugliest moments, you can find something to laugh and smile about.

  • The less energy you give negativity, the less it will thrive in your life

Take ten seconds of your time and think about something. Give it another ten seconds and another ten seconds. This time will eventually add up and all this energy you are giving into this negativity is only breading more negativity. This is always a tough one for me but I literally have to tell myself, “there are other things you can be thinking about right now that is definitely better for your life.” Try it.

  • Things always work out

Remember that time you fell and twisted your ankle, ripped your jeans, and chipped your nail. Then you had to hop home. Well luckily you had a shirt to tie around the ripped jeans and a neighbor saw you struggling and gave you a hand home and when you walked in your apartment, it was clean with working heat and hot water so you could unwind your day and enjoy a tall glass of wine. Whether its immediate or eventually; EVERYTHING works out.

Stay wreckless,

Aminah