Whats up wreckless people?!

So I told myself I was going to start off 2016 strong and consistent so accept this as my effort, two weeks into the year as just that. For the past couple of years, I always enjoyed looking back at the past year and highlighting personal strides and outstanding moments of that year. To make it easier, I just go month by month and highlight those great moments!! This helps me acknowledge my blessings but also put things into perspective of how even more awesome I am becoming! So cheers to the new year and here ate the Top Moments in my life from 2015.

January

At this point I had a six month old baby at home but a few months from this time I started getting back on stage to perform again. I signed up for a competition at Gotham Comedy club and this month was when I advanced to the 2nd round. It was after this performance that Jerry Seinfield made an appearance and made this show even better!!! Check out the picture below, my friends and I were stoked.

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February

What was significant during this time was me gaining more and more independence. When you have an infant, your life is solely dedicated to them and you remain inseparable for sometime. I remember partying a bit more this month and in result, I lost my cell phone. After attempting to replace it at Sprint and them giving me a difficult time, I ended up leaving that provider. Top moment of the month goes to me leaving Sprint! The best decision EVER!!!

 

March

So after a year of growing beautiful locs, I decided it was time for a  change. I remember being super scared and afraid because I had always been doing things with my hair and couldn’t imagine myself without it. After a few moments of thinking to myself, I decided to cut each loc off one by one and free myself from the fear. Best decision of 2015! I am still loving the look!

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April

This month was pretty low key but I remember dating a lot around this time. In one night I managed three dates and I remember asking myself, “are you on a mission?” lol Also this month I went to see Chicago on Brodway. That was a treat to see Brandy and her genuine talent.

May

I turned twenty great. Celebration included; silent clubbing, hookah, drinks, and a weekend trip to DC to turn up with my sisters!!! #epic

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June

This month was like finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I celebrated one year of mommy hood! I made it!!! It was truly getting a bit easier as they say and the celebration was perfect. My family came into town, we took photos, threw my baby a party and then I had a grown up celebration as well. Definitely a defining moment of the year! Of course my sisters were there:-)

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July

Panama! Panama! viva la panama!!! If you didn’t know, then now you know; my family is from Panama and for the first time I went to my country of origin. It was an interesting vacation but nonetheless Im glad I went and was able to say I have seen where I am from:-)

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August

My friend got married. She asked me to host her wedding. Just awesome! truly a great month!!! Congratulations friend! This girl means so much to me and my family, its ridiculous! For this entire year she dedicated her Mondays to come and watch my son while I go out and perform! Its people like this who exemplifies what it means for a village to raise a child! I love you and Paul always!!!

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September

One place; Barbados. Oh my!!! This was a great treat! I took a sister’s trip to Barbados and it was the best time ever! I slept! I drank ALOT! and I just enjoyed the free time in the son on some land surrounded by water. It was great!

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October

So I got a call from Neko probably a couple months from this October to perform at Carolines with him to headline. It was such an honor to perform there and watch how much he has grown as a comic and see who came out to support him. Well everybody crushed it that night in front of almost two hundred people and he effortlessly did almost an hour on stage. This was definitely a highlight of 2015:-)

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November

This was a quiet month. Thanksgiving was interesting with family and I think the only thing I could recognize was my son’s father finally paying his child support. He had to pay $500 to avoid going to jail. “bitch better have my money” bwahahahahaha No but seriously I actually started a podcast with my girl Stephanie McRae called Petty Influence. Get with it! Its pretty much where we have great girl talk and conversations exposing some of everything:-)

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December

Finally to close out the year, I got the news of getting a new job!!! Now if anybody knows me personally this was a huge victory because I had been applying and going on several interviews for a while now. To know 2016 was bringing these many blessings was a perfect way to end the year and bring the cheer. I like how that rhymed;-) Also this month I performed at Gotham Comedy club again and was getting on the stage quite a bit. Very much appreciated for my family and friends!!

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Thank you for going down memory lane with me and to all those who continue to support me! I love you! What were some of your personal highlights of 2015? As always share, comment, and like below!

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

Whats up wreckless people?!

Its been a minute. This is usually the case though. Im definitely working on making this blog even better than what it is so definitely stick with me. The other day I was speaking to my best friend and he admitted to missing my blog posts. Thanks friend!!! Honestly I told him that Ive been in a very angry/frustrated place and I didn’t want my blogs to reflect that nor sound like complaints nor me just straight venting. Sometimes you just want to be positive with your art. Its like that saying, “If you don’t have anything good to say then don’t say it at all.” My friend said that the things I was going through was comical and that sometimes its good to hear about my life outside of when Im on stage. I considered what he said and I gave it some thought but what really inspired me to write today was a blog post from comedian Judy Carter. I love reading her blogs and recently she wrote a post about effective speaking skills. I love how she encouraged her readers to expose their messes of their past as a way to create a connection with their audience. I even scrolled down to the comment section and read stories of what people have had to deal with and I felt relieved. In comparison to my issues, things didn’t seem as bad anymore. So thank you Judy Carter for that blog.

Anyway people, what I’ve been dealing with unfortunately there isn’t a success story as of yet and so thats why I titled the blog the way I did. I actually can’t wait until my mess is a success. Come on success! As my readers know, I am a new mother. Yes, my son is a toddler now so people would challenge the “new”. However,  I still wake up feeling like, “Who baby is this?” and “What was I thinking?” Everyday I am presented with new challenges and often times I ask God, “Seriously! What else?” So when it starts feeling old, I will refrain from saying I’m a new mom. Until then, Im new to this, not true to this!

Definitely after reading that blog it made me think of how I have been dealing with my mess until it becomes a success. I have to admit that currently it is a just a mess. I’m in a place where motherhood seems extremely tough and apparently people around me along with the standard societal view says, “SUCK IT UP.” Im not sure if people realize this but mothers have to take a lot of crap. Meanwhile, fathers can do one thing and get praised for it. It seems because the idea of father’s absence is very common, even if they see their child once a week, this is deemed as something positive. I have actually heard people say, “well at least the father is around”. Meanwhile I’m around twenty-four hours around the clock, feeling like life is sinking in over on my head, overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and all I get is people telling me, “What did you expect, this is how it is” response.

I wish this same response to fathers doing the bare minimum actually applied to real life situations like staying employed. If only your boss could say, “Well at least Aminah shows up for work, doesn’t matter if she is actually doing any work, better yet lets give her a raise”. Yeah no this will happen never.

So basically I have gone from co-parenting to single parenting in the past few months and even thought it’s definitely more difficult, there is peace in knowing that I am standing up for what I feel is right and I’m not settling for what I know my son doesn’t deserve; a part-time, selfie for Instagram/dead beat father. The same applies to how no parent would keep their child in a school where they felt they weren’t learning or thriving. That is a fact.

Anyway so things are a mess right now. I have family members disowning me, people shaming my name, and even worst, emotionally I sometimes can’t call it; I can be up or really down. In the past seven months, I have done several things that I’m not so proud of. I am bitter with this situation but today is a new day and I can finally say I have been trying to stay positive and turn my mess into a success. Here is how:

  • Focus

There are so many things I have to do. Im producing my own comedy show; get tickets here. I perform stand up comedy at least twice a week, I’m working on building my brand, I’m starting a podcast, creating youtube content, and on top of my responsibilities, I am a mother. If I even regurgitate my weekly schedule as a mom, I would exhaust you. With this being said, I am busy. Having a focus helps with dealing with the mess in my life. Sometime there is no room to dwell on life’s injustices when you have a little one relying on you along with dreams, passions, and desires.

  • Prayer

This has been a struggle for me. Often times I am quick to call a friend or family member to vent and discuss life’s happenings but it’s good to remember that God wants you to rely on him. So everyday I try to remind myself of my faith and remember that God will take care of all my worries especially if I decide to surrender.

  • Self Love and Self Care

You have to take care of yourself. Remind yourself that you aren’t your current circumstances and you love you regardless of what you go through. Doing things that make you feel good about you and nurturing yourself is necessary on a daily basis. I try to create time to take a long shower, paint my nails, or enjoy a favorite meal. Sometimes it’s the small things that are necessary to keep you going.

  • Laugh

This one often times comes extremely easy and I am very grateful for this. It allows myself not to be so hard on myself and take myself so seriously. Even when I take actions out of bitterness and pettiness, I can laugh at them and reassure myself that things will get better. I like to watch funny videos online, go to shows, and even read celebrity gossip to get a good laugh. It is important to laugh.

  • Seek help

Things can get overwhelming. A while back I attempted to seek therapy and then I put it off but this week I have made it my priority to commit to seeking therapy. Mental health is important and I realize things are getting overwhelming and to have unbiased support from a professional may be in my best interest. Whether you look for therapy or not, knowing when you need help is important so whatever route you take to get assistance is great. It is better to ask than to not ask at all.

I’m not perfect and I know I am doing the best I can. I can’t wait to share my upcoming projects with you guys and ultimately I know my mess will be a success because I want it to. There should be a desire to be better. As always share, comment, and respond in the comment section below. How are you dealing with your messes? Did your mess become a success? I’d love to hear!

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

 

 

Whats up wreckless people?!

Today I wanted to share some of the best financial decisions I made this year in 2015. Some people wonder how I even survive it in New York alone. It is a fact that New York is the most expensive city in the United States; everything cost. It has been almost six years since I’ve been here and often times Im trying to figure out how I have made it too. However through some good decisions, I have been able to save money and use it elsewhere needed.

  • Cell Phone service

Most people laugh when I tell them that I am not with a big cell phone company. Prior to coming to New York I was with Sprint for going on ten years. After a number of customer service issues and phone losses, I moved on to another huge company. My first bill was over one hundred dollars, I didn’t have unlimited data and the taxes on my bill amounted more than fifteen dollars. Finally I look into these month to month company who offered attractive data plans. Since then Ive saved over two hundred dollars alone in one year on what I would’ve paid to another company. I’ve travelled and I have no complaints on the service on the road neither. I won’t solicit a certain company because Im not getting paid for this but I encourage you to look into these smaller basic plans that still fit the needs of a cell phone you need.

  • Basic Internet

This one can be annoying sometimes because a lot of companies promote basic internet for affordable prices for only a limited time span but fortunately I’ve been able to keep my promotional price for the past three years. If you have the power of persuasion I have you can save hundreds as well. The good news is you can still save money even if you can’t persuade them to extend the promotion. Changing my service to basic internet was one of the best decisions as well. I am still able to stream and download at a good enough speed.

  • No cable

Now this is where basic internet comes in handy. Instead of cable I use hulu plus, netflix, and free streaming services for entertainment. Im not a television head so I know most people won’t be able to do without their precious cable. Luckily for me, my mother had us reading tons of books growing up so I never grew an attachment to live television. This has saved me TONS!!! I know friends who pay over $100/month for cable use. Nope!!! I put that money towards other necessities.

  • Unplug Appliances

Surge protecters are great for this situation if you have tons of things plugged up, that way when you leave home you don’t have to do the most to head out. But yes before I leave home, I make sure everything is unplugged; EVERYTHING except the refrigerator. Ive done research and apparently this saves roughly two dollars on your monthly bill but multiple that by twelve and you are looking at a twenty-four dollar savings yearly. Get with it.

  • Moderate Air Condition use

We get really hot summers here in New York and some people go without AC. Im still confused as to how that is possible but what I do know is that anytime your AC is below seventy-eight degrees, your bill increases by six percent. So with that said, I choose wisely as to when I turn on the AC and also when it is on it NEVER goes below seventy-eight percent. This is when it is important to not invite people over. lol

  • Grocery Store smart shopping

There are only certain stores I shop at. Between Aldi, Costco, Trader Joes, and local fruit stands, I am constantly comparing prices and saving money here and there. This one is a given. Take your time to be smart and save a dollar or two. Food is very expensive so even saving cents can add up on a weekly basis. Buying in bulk is cool if you have others to share but I find myself only grabbing few things from Costco but it helps.

  • Food Prep/Meal planning

Anybody spending money on lunch everyday is killing your pockets! Lunch in New York ranges from seven to twelve dollars a day. You can do the math yourself. I usually food prep on Sundays or Mondays and may need to re-prep on Thursdays. Taking lunch and snacks while Im out is simple when you prepare ahead of time. This is a huge savings on the pockets, so huge my calculator just broke!!! Get with it.

  • Home gym

Gym memberships are  necessary to those serious about that fit life. Im not that serious but I know how important it is to be physically active. Along with the long blocks I walk in New York, my apartment building turns into stadiums and a place for me to break a sweat. I run up and down my steps several times, I own a yoga mat, an ab wheel, and a jump rope. This is all I need and would use if I went to a gym. So given that memberships are as low as twenty dollars monthly I am still saving over two hundred dollars in gym membership fees.

These are only a few decisions I made to ensure that I am not swallowed in this jungle we call New York city. What are some things you do to save money? Share, comment, and question below:-)

Shameless plug, if you are living in New York reading this, Wreckless Wednesday comedy show happens this evening. Get your tickets here.

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

 

UnknownWhats up wreckless people?!

First and foremost! If you did not see The Perfect Guy and plan on seeing it, please do not read this blog! Huge spoiler alert! I will not omit any details from proving my five points. If you didn’t see the movie and plan to see it, I would recommend you catch this movie on Netflix. I am all for movies with leading black actors, however this movie was just okay. So leave your grand expectations at the door. Even though Im still glad I went to see it because I went with friends; I would’ve been okay with watching it at home as well.

The synopsis of the movie is basically about a woman(Sanaa Lathan) in a relationship with a guy(Morris Chestnut) who ended up going separate ways due to some differences. Apparently the woman was getting old and wanted marriage and kids immediately and the guy wasn’t about that life. So the woman moved on and ended up meeting the psycho(Michael Ealy) and the movie went down hill from there. He pretty much ruined her life and attempted to murder her too. Drama. I know.

In my opinion the movie was a rendition of the Obsessed(Beyonce) and Enough(J.Lo) so after watching I was like eh. During the movie though, I was engulfed and interested in knowing how things were going to conclude. There were a few surprises like I didn’t expect for Morris Chesnut’s character to die but overall it was a bit predictable. You knew the psycho had to be stopped. Eventually he was when Sanaa Lathan’s character killed him.

Here are five things we learned from the movie:

1.Google your prospective parnter

I guess this is the number one rule these days. I recently went on a date with a guy when he had already googled me. Initially I felt a bit violated but the fact of the matter is its 2015 and people are crazy. The internet is your friend; you should be able to search for mugshots, a resume, or something of that matter to make sure things are on the positive front. Had Sanaa’s character done a little research she would’ve known that the psycho was crazy and had a criminal background

2. Visit your boyfriend’s house at least once before you call him your boyfriend

Im just saying. He is not your boyfriend is you don’t know where he lives. When you are in relationship status, you should know at least one neighbor! The psycho was all in her sheets and knew where the spare key was to her house. By the time she looked up, her house was under full surveillance! Don’t get caught out there like this!

3. You should know at least one of your boyfriend’s friend

There was a time in my life where I had at least three of my boyfriend’s contact information. Now that may have been one of his mistakes, lol, but at least if he turned out psycho I could refer to some references for assistance. In this movie, Sanaa’s character had not one of his friend’s to turn to with her concerns. All she had was the police. smh

4. Don’t hold on to important information

Towards the end of the movie, the psycho eventually started killing people. Once her neighbor was dead phone calls should’ve been made to her other loved ones. She should’ve made a Facebook post or something! Put his picture up around the neighborhood warning the community. But this didn’t happen. Instead Sanaa’s character decided to kick her feet up at home and wonder what the psycho was going to do next. That’s when her could’ve been husband was murdered by the psycho. Foolish

5. Take shooting lessons and consider staying strapped

Ummmm As a single woman, living in a huge house by yourself, and inviting men there that you just me; you may want to have some self defense skills on your resume. Now I am not promoting gun violence but clearly this movie took it to the extreme and the first thought that came to my mind was, “see this is why you have to stay strapped”. Consider both or you can just omit inviting strange men into your home. Either way I know you will figure it out!

Did you guys see the movie, “The Perfect Guy”? They definitely did great in the box office and I’m sure the cast was the reason for the huge attraction! If so what did you think? Are there other lessons we could’ve learned? Comment, like, and question below!

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

Whats up wreckless people?!

Its been a minute but what is new? I’ve been wanting to blog for a while but life has definitely gotten in the way. Its during these times that I wish I had the positive words of encouragement and also the strength to vocalize what I’ve been dealing with but honestly I need a little more time to thoroughly vocalize the trials.

Anyway I am back! and I come with great news! First off I do need to take the time and express how good God is. Even during times of storm, blessings continue to flow and they are only reminders to keep pushing through with whatever I am dealing with. Last time I blogged was in April so let me catch you up on the blessings that has happened in my life:-)

May- I turned 28! I definitely need to take the time and list 28 things I am grateful for! I guess you guys can look out for that blog soon:-) I did quiet clubbing here in NYC and then went to DC to party with family! Definitely a great time.

June- I celebrated a year of motherhood! Honestly this is a milestone for both my child and myself!! Its been a struggle but I made it through a COMPLETE year:-) WOW!

July- My family and I took a vacation to Panama(CENTRAL AMERICA) I have to put that in parenthesis because last time someone asked how long my bus ride was:/ For those of you who don’t know, this is where my maternal family is from. During the trip were blessed to see where our family grew up and the history that runs through our blood. Also we celebrated two of my sisters 30th and 40th birthday along with my aunt’s 50th birthday! BIG celebration!

Believe it or not you are pretty much caught up!!! lol I guess you didn’t miss much but August brings much more excitement and things to look forward to. Fortunately I have been performing all over New York city along with hosting weddings, baby showers, and other private events. Needless to say the summer has been busy! I definitely found time to go to the beach, enjoy picnics, the zoo, and party here and there so as I sit here and type the summer has been pretty dope!

Now that the fall is swiftly approaching, the best news to come is my comedy show, Wreckless Wednesday, is returning to the New York scene! My kick off show will be September 23, 2015 and tickets are on sale RIGHT now!!! I know many of you have supported the show in the past and has continued to support me and I really appreciate it!!! Now its time to make this show even more epic than before!!! So tell a friend to tell a friend and buy your tickets here.

Look out for more blogs, I’ve been active on social media, and Im even working on recording sketches and plugs! Again I appreciate the support and remember to stay wreckless;)

-Aminah