Whats up wreckless people?!

So I told myself I was going to start off 2016 strong and consistent so accept this as my effort, two weeks into the year as just that. For the past couple of years, I always enjoyed looking back at the past year and highlighting personal strides and outstanding moments of that year. To make it easier, I just go month by month and highlight those great moments!! This helps me acknowledge my blessings but also put things into perspective of how even more awesome I am becoming! So cheers to the new year and here ate the Top Moments in my life from 2015.

January

At this point I had a six month old baby at home but a few months from this time I started getting back on stage to perform again. I signed up for a competition at Gotham Comedy club and this month was when I advanced to the 2nd round. It was after this performance that Jerry Seinfield made an appearance and made this show even better!!! Check out the picture below, my friends and I were stoked.

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February

What was significant during this time was me gaining more and more independence. When you have an infant, your life is solely dedicated to them and you remain inseparable for sometime. I remember partying a bit more this month and in result, I lost my cell phone. After attempting to replace it at Sprint and them giving me a difficult time, I ended up leaving that provider. Top moment of the month goes to me leaving Sprint! The best decision EVER!!!

 

March

So after a year of growing beautiful locs, I decided it was time for a  change. I remember being super scared and afraid because I had always been doing things with my hair and couldn’t imagine myself without it. After a few moments of thinking to myself, I decided to cut each loc off one by one and free myself from the fear. Best decision of 2015! I am still loving the look!

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April

This month was pretty low key but I remember dating a lot around this time. In one night I managed three dates and I remember asking myself, “are you on a mission?” lol Also this month I went to see Chicago on Brodway. That was a treat to see Brandy and her genuine talent.

May

I turned twenty great. Celebration included; silent clubbing, hookah, drinks, and a weekend trip to DC to turn up with my sisters!!! #epic

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June

This month was like finally seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. I celebrated one year of mommy hood! I made it!!! It was truly getting a bit easier as they say and the celebration was perfect. My family came into town, we took photos, threw my baby a party and then I had a grown up celebration as well. Definitely a defining moment of the year! Of course my sisters were there:-)

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July

Panama! Panama! viva la panama!!! If you didn’t know, then now you know; my family is from Panama and for the first time I went to my country of origin. It was an interesting vacation but nonetheless Im glad I went and was able to say I have seen where I am from:-)

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August

My friend got married. She asked me to host her wedding. Just awesome! truly a great month!!! Congratulations friend! This girl means so much to me and my family, its ridiculous! For this entire year she dedicated her Mondays to come and watch my son while I go out and perform! Its people like this who exemplifies what it means for a village to raise a child! I love you and Paul always!!!

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September

One place; Barbados. Oh my!!! This was a great treat! I took a sister’s trip to Barbados and it was the best time ever! I slept! I drank ALOT! and I just enjoyed the free time in the son on some land surrounded by water. It was great!

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October

So I got a call from Neko probably a couple months from this October to perform at Carolines with him to headline. It was such an honor to perform there and watch how much he has grown as a comic and see who came out to support him. Well everybody crushed it that night in front of almost two hundred people and he effortlessly did almost an hour on stage. This was definitely a highlight of 2015:-)

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November

This was a quiet month. Thanksgiving was interesting with family and I think the only thing I could recognize was my son’s father finally paying his child support. He had to pay $500 to avoid going to jail. “bitch better have my money” bwahahahahaha No but seriously I actually started a podcast with my girl Stephanie McRae called Petty Influence. Get with it! Its pretty much where we have great girl talk and conversations exposing some of everything:-)

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December

Finally to close out the year, I got the news of getting a new job!!! Now if anybody knows me personally this was a huge victory because I had been applying and going on several interviews for a while now. To know 2016 was bringing these many blessings was a perfect way to end the year and bring the cheer. I like how that rhymed;-) Also this month I performed at Gotham Comedy club again and was getting on the stage quite a bit. Very much appreciated for my family and friends!!

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Thank you for going down memory lane with me and to all those who continue to support me! I love you! What were some of your personal highlights of 2015? As always share, comment, and like below!

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

What’s up wreckless people?!

Here’s the story?! Today while I was out this guy stops me. He insists that he knows me from the library and he’s been meaning to ask me my name and if he could call me sometime but after seeing my face he suggested, “or text”. Things got awkward considering I’m pushing a stroller…. Like in my mind im thinking, “can’t you see I’m busy with someone else’s child?” So instinctively I answered his question with a question, “what do you do at the library?” This question wasn’t the best question considering what does anyone do at a library but the guy actually responded with something I wish I could make up. He said, “I network”.

Now for those of you who don’t reside in New York City you may not be familiar with the people who frequent the library. Here in Harlem it’s usually the people who need a warm place for the day, a place to nap, or a rest area, you know like a bathroom break, directions, and somewhere to snack. So when he mentioned he networked, I was done. And I know you might be thinking what are you doing at the library Aminah but it’s definitely not to network. I go to READ books, enjoy family events, and check out CDs which if he had mentioned any, I would still be writing this story the exact same way because I usually find a way to say no thank you and keep things moving when I get hit on while pushing my 19pound baby.

Which leaves me to the awkwardness of it all.  Firstly cat calls are already weird… I dont care how many men say cat calls are to just tell women they are beautiful. No it’s like a form of creep that resonates out of men because basically it’s their way of saying “I want to eat you, eat you with my bare hands and teeth”. And now on top of that I’m pushing a stroller, or breastfeeding, or comforting a baby so now it’s “I want to eat you while you’re caring for that baby, with my bare hands and teeth”.

Can you say awkward?!

Is this only happening to me?! Please share and comment below about some awkward cat call moments You’ve experienced.

Until then stay wreckless,

Aminah

Whats up wreckless people?!

Summer came  and went and Halloween is around the corner! First of all lets discuss how every halloween, these huge costume stores open for business on every corner in New York City and then shut down right after. This is constantly shocking to me because I’m still left trying to figure out what is done when it isn’t halloween. Secondly lets discuss how my son already has two costumes before I could even decide if and how we would celebrate. See what had happened was my dad stopped by to visit and was like, “O by the way I got him a costume.” Ummm I ‘m left thinking, “Thanks, does this costume come with plans too? better yet does it come with babysitting services? and is this your child?” lol But I love the enthusiasm and it does save me any thought that I would’ve given it. This was low key a mommy update. I doubt I can blog with out one.

Speaking of mommy updates; One thing I can say about mommy hood is that, now since things have toned down a bit and my baby sleeps through the night (THANK GOD!) It leaves me with some time on my hands. After a day full of  tummy time, reading time, nap time, mirror time, diaper time, singing time, dancing time, playing time and even FaceTime, Im left with some reflection time….. Which can be good when used appropriately because I gain understanding about a lot that I found myself confused about.

So! We are definitely getting somewhere with this. To be candid, I have to admit that I am constantly excited about getting through this year, just finishing it completely? I know time is flying by and I really do appreciate it because after this year is over I can finally rid of all the memories of “last year this time I was…” Everything time I think about what I was doing last year especially during a holiday or celebration, the thought would be spoiled by chaos that I continually fed and was consistent in my life. Which brings me to my point of this blog. Are you ready to face your ugly?

A few weeks ago I actually took time out to initiate some apologies to people that I didn’t wish well on. It was funny because I thought to myself, “I’m sure Im forgetting some people.” The reason I did this and was able to was because I attempted to face my ugly. I say attempt because one I didn’t make it past the first person and two because I knew that the apology didn’t really open up dialogue for the other person to tell me how much I had hurt them and honestly because I didn’t want to know. I would be quick to think how a person who hurt me had no clue as to how hurtful their actions were. The fact is they won’t have an idea unless they wanted one. Facing your ugly is difficult. You have to remind yourself of times that are embarrassing, petty, painful, and stressful.  You also have to admit to your wrong doing, regrets and trauma. This isn’t exactly a vacation on an island but it can lead to one. Eventually after facing your ugly, you can get that peace of mind, kick your feet up and sip some tea:-)

If you are in the process of facing your ugly or want to, hear are five questions to ask yourself to follow through.

1. What was the incident and what role did I play in the chaos? What role did I play in the solution?

2. What could I have done differently if I was given the opportunity to do so?

3. Did I make decisions based on good intentions?

4. Am I proud of how I acted?

5. If someone did the same to myself would I be happy or okay with it?

Its definitely a learning process and this has helped me gain understanding and to move on. So I felt compelled to share:-)

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

 

Whats good wreckless people?!

I hope everyone enjoyed their 4th of July. This holiday definitely took a turn from last year; instead of the beach with my bikini body, I was breastfeeding picking out a new pot set online from Macy’s. Yep! Ish is real. You know its real when during a holiday all you can make sure you do is capitalize on a big sale at a department store.

Anyway as a new mommy I can’t help but constantly check the web for questions and concerns about my newborn and mommy hood just to make sure things are normal and to know I’m not alone out here in these streets. Thats when I came across an article asking mothers, “What type of mother do you want to be?”. Absolutely thought provoking. It reminds me of that question, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” that we were constantly asked in college. Questions like these are difficult for me to answer and I’m usually best at answering what I don’t want and sure enough I thought of five things that even the slightest thought of myself doing kills me inside and gave me a chance to poke fun. This is that ish I don’t like, take a look:

Breastfeeding until toddler age

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Why does the child in this picture look like he’s eating Kale chips with that breast milk. Im sorry but once my baby can order his own food at a restaurant, I will be done breastfeeding!!! I’ve seen it too! Kids go from snacking on crackers to sucking on their mother’s breasts. I will die the day my son is potty trained still squeezing on me. I’m going to have to hit his forehead with all five fingers like, “Bye felicia”. Sorry boo, not this mommy.

Bedsharing

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I’m not sure who came up with this idea and I half way understand why it would be convenient but absolutely not! First of all even though my baby is only two weeks old, he is a grown man! He even belches like one and lets not get started on his poops. I am not sharing my bed with nobody’s child. First of all it looks really unsafe for infants and secondly my bed will be the only thing to myself; from here until never will I have many things to myself.

Baby Daddy Drama

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Ugh! My life will never be a scene from the movie Baby Boy! The day I’m anywhere arguing with my child’s father should be the day hell freezes over. I’ve heard and scene horror stories and I can’t even stomach the thought in my mind. Arguing period is super played out to me. Most of the time you are mirroring who you argue with and all I have to say is my mama didn’t raise no fool! Boop!

 

Best Dressed

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No shade to Beyonce but why does Blue Ivy look like she could’ve been casted in the movie Don’t be a Menance to Society. Bruh! It kills me when I see mothers looking stylish and fly and then here comes their kids looking like starving children on commercials, “only ten cents a day will feed little Kenya”. Absolutely not! If anything my baby will be more fly than myself because I will still continue to search for bargains at Conway, but shhh don’t tell nobody:)

Yelling at my child in public

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I know I say this now and some mothers are laughing at me but every time I see this happen I cringe. The picture above is exactly how moms look and most of the time moms are yelling at their children for being children. I realize that my child is not going to listen, want to play around, and drive my nerves up the wall but I don’t want it to revert to me yelling at him. It’s just not a good look. Sheesh.

Welp this was fun! I’m still wrapping the idea of even being a mother, like this kid has no idea what he got himself into but as always comments welcomed below:)

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

 

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Whats up wreckless people?!

It has been a minute, as usual but I was inspired to come and write a bit based off the new dealings in my life. My last post was a bit emotional for me and its clear now why, I’m a new mom. Yup I’m officially coming out of the closet and accepting all rif raft that comes along with it:-) Aminah Imani got knocked up and was officially 16 and pregnant! At the end of the day I’m happy and super excited about this new direction in my life.

So! you should know its literally only a week passed and in my mind I’m already a pro, ready to write a book and put you other newbies on some new knowledge:-) But seriously, the other day I was thinking about all the classes, support groups, seminars, expos, and counseling I dived into once I accepted becoming a new mother and realized there are a few things they don’t tell you about this postpartum life and even if its mentioned it isn’t stressed as it should be. Take a look.

1. Paging doctor who?

You are a officially a doctor/patient caring for two! I had a natural birth experience with no medicine and no regrets but where is the medicine now? It hurts to sit down, stand up, bend over, walk, lift, and live! I mean really am I still pregnant? Anyway this was something I didn’t have in mind when it came to postpartum life; I’m a patient and a doctor at the same damn time! The pain will eventually subside and my mom friends have assured me of that but I was in super shock when I returned home and just wanted to stay in the bed until all pain was gone. Unfortunately word on the street is that these first couple of weeks, your bed will definitely become a stranger.

2. Breastfeeding wos

For all you breastfeeding pros, lactating consultants, and la leche league specialists I want to personally thank you for NOTHING! lol don’t get me wrong I remember you guys offering a lot of information but no one stressed the fact that my breast will triple in size, have me looking like Wendy Williams, feeling like I’m carrying mountains on my chest. These breasts are super huge and heavy with tires built Ford tough. Forget going back to sleep on your stomach for a while mommies. Breastfeeding is a beautiful thing but extremely painful as well. I have been advised to be patient and honestly the look on my baby’s face after every feeding is the only motivation not to cut these things off my body.

3. Time changes

You know how when spring time forwards and fall time back and you either forget to set your clock appropriately or is left playing catch up. Well postpartum has another clock and it doesn’t fit in any time zone. Every one to two hour feedings or the random four hours after midnight that your baby decides to just look at you will definitely take an adjusting to. I’m talking hunger games book two where every time the clock strikes be prepared for a huge poop or long feeding. I remember it being stressed that you won’t get sleep but these duties are on an entire different time change.

4. Joy! Joy!

Postpartum depression is an issue stressed from left to right and don’t get me wrong I am very well educated about it and know its real but the opposite side of this taunting depression that could come about is the true joy I have in my life. I mean this is the best thing that happened to me. I’m wishing all my enemies well, saying good morning to my neighbors, and every animal I see has to be recognized and praised for their looks. I don’t know who I am! and trust me when I say any negativity sent my way, I’m left super unphased and unbothered. If I call the old Aminah and tell her this she wouldn’t even believe me. Cloud nine and the movie 50 first dates are the best way to explain this joy. Every day I fall in love with my baby its something someone could have never put in words. Expect it, appreciate and enjoy it!

5. Unsolicited advice and comments

This began prenatal but I didn’t know it will continue postpartum as well. I mean you have mothers who had children eons of years ago offering all types of advice to me like “make sure you do this and that…” and then there are strangers in the street who make suggestions as well. Like seriously! I trust that it is in all good faith but definitely something I didn’t expect so I just make light of it and give out an award each day… “and the unsolicited advice award goes to…”. My sisters and I die each time!

Welp. There goes my unsolicited advice but you asked for it when you clicked on the link. lol Honestly to all the new mommies and expecting mommies, I give this to you. I remember mother always telling me, “Make sure you do at least one thing for yourself” and I was obedient to that. Writing is super therapeutic for me and I can’t wait til my baby learns to read because I wrote to him everyday when I was pregnant and even binded a journal with pictures and photos for him. So whatever it is you enjoy doing, make a small amount of time for it:-)

As usual comments and thoughts are welcomed below.

Stay wreckless,

Aminah plus one