From a mess to success or maybe currently just a MESS

Whats up wreckless people?!

Its been a minute. This is usually the case though. Im definitely working on making this blog even better than what it is so definitely stick with me. The other day I was speaking to my best friend and he admitted to missing my blog posts. Thanks friend!!! Honestly I told him that Ive been in a very angry/frustrated place and I didn’t want my blogs to reflect that nor sound like complaints nor me just straight venting. Sometimes you just want to be positive with your art. Its like that saying, “If you don’t have anything good to say then don’t say it at all.” My friend said that the things I was going through was comical and that sometimes its good to hear about my life outside of when Im on stage. I considered what he said and I gave it some thought but what really inspired me to write today was a blog post from comedian Judy Carter. I love reading her blogs and recently she wrote a post about effective speaking skills. I love how she encouraged her readers to expose their messes of their past as a way to create a connection with their audience. I even scrolled down to the comment section and read stories of what people have had to deal with and I felt relieved. In comparison to my issues, things didn’t seem as bad anymore. So thank you Judy Carter for that blog.

Anyway people, what I’ve been dealing with unfortunately there isn’t a success story as of yet and so thats why I titled the blog the way I did. I actually can’t wait until my mess is a success. Come on success! As my readers know, I am a new mother. Yes, my son is a toddler now so people would challenge the “new”. However,  I still wake up feeling like, “Who baby is this?” and “What was I thinking?” Everyday I am presented with new challenges and often times I ask God, “Seriously! What else?” So when it starts feeling old, I will refrain from saying I’m a new mom. Until then, Im new to this, not true to this!

Definitely after reading that blog it made me think of how I have been dealing with my mess until it becomes a success. I have to admit that currently it is a just a mess. I’m in a place where motherhood seems extremely tough and apparently people around me along with the standard societal view says, “SUCK IT UP.” Im not sure if people realize this but mothers have to take a lot of crap. Meanwhile, fathers can do one thing and get praised for it. It seems because the idea of father’s absence is very common, even if they see their child once a week, this is deemed as something positive. I have actually heard people say, “well at least the father is around”. Meanwhile I’m around twenty-four hours around the clock, feeling like life is sinking in over on my head, overwhelmed by all the responsibilities and all I get is people telling me, “What did you expect, this is how it is” response.

I wish this same response to fathers doing the bare minimum actually applied to real life situations like staying employed. If only your boss could say, “Well at least Aminah shows up for work, doesn’t matter if she is actually doing any work, better yet lets give her a raise”. Yeah no this will happen never.

So basically I have gone from co-parenting to single parenting in the past few months and even thought it’s definitely more difficult, there is peace in knowing that I am standing up for what I feel is right and I’m not settling for what I know my son doesn’t deserve; a part-time, selfie for Instagram/dead beat father. The same applies to how no parent would keep their child in a school where they felt they weren’t learning or thriving. That is a fact.

Anyway so things are a mess right now. I have family members disowning me, people shaming my name, and even worst, emotionally I sometimes can’t call it; I can be up or really down. In the past seven months, I have done several things that I’m not so proud of. I am bitter with this situation but today is a new day and I can finally say I have been trying to stay positive and turn my mess into a success. Here is how:

  • Focus

There are so many things I have to do. Im producing my own comedy show; get tickets here. I perform stand up comedy at least twice a week, I’m working on building my brand, I’m starting a podcast, creating youtube content, and on top of my responsibilities, I am a mother. If I even regurgitate my weekly schedule as a mom, I would exhaust you. With this being said, I am busy. Having a focus helps with dealing with the mess in my life. Sometime there is no room to dwell on life’s injustices when you have a little one relying on you along with dreams, passions, and desires.

  • Prayer

This has been a struggle for me. Often times I am quick to call a friend or family member to vent and discuss life’s happenings but it’s good to remember that God wants you to rely on him. So everyday I try to remind myself of my faith and remember that God will take care of all my worries especially if I decide to surrender.

  • Self Love and Self Care

You have to take care of yourself. Remind yourself that you aren’t your current circumstances and you love you regardless of what you go through. Doing things that make you feel good about you and nurturing yourself is necessary on a daily basis. I try to create time to take a long shower, paint my nails, or enjoy a favorite meal. Sometimes it’s the small things that are necessary to keep you going.

  • Laugh

This one often times comes extremely easy and I am very grateful for this. It allows myself not to be so hard on myself and take myself so seriously. Even when I take actions out of bitterness and pettiness, I can laugh at them and reassure myself that things will get better. I like to watch funny videos online, go to shows, and even read celebrity gossip to get a good laugh. It is important to laugh.

  • Seek help

Things can get overwhelming. A while back I attempted to seek therapy and then I put it off but this week I have made it my priority to commit to seeking therapy. Mental health is important and I realize things are getting overwhelming and to have unbiased support from a professional may be in my best interest. Whether you look for therapy or not, knowing when you need help is important so whatever route you take to get assistance is great. It is better to ask than to not ask at all.

I’m not perfect and I know I am doing the best I can. I can’t wait to share my upcoming projects with you guys and ultimately I know my mess will be a success because I want it to. There should be a desire to be better. As always share, comment, and respond in the comment section below. How are you dealing with your messes? Did your mess become a success? I’d love to hear!

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

 

 

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1 Comment

  1. Nakia
    November 13, 2015 / 2:40 pm

    Well said….Cuzzin

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