Facing your ugly

Whats up wreckless people?!

Summer came  and went and Halloween is around the corner! First of all lets discuss how every halloween, these huge costume stores open for business on every corner in New York City and then shut down right after. This is constantly shocking to me because I’m still left trying to figure out what is done when it isn’t halloween. Secondly lets discuss how my son already has two costumes before I could even decide if and how we would celebrate. See what had happened was my dad stopped by to visit and was like, “O by the way I got him a costume.” Ummm I ‘m left thinking, “Thanks, does this costume come with plans too? better yet does it come with babysitting services? and is this your child?” lol But I love the enthusiasm and it does save me any thought that I would’ve given it. This was low key a mommy update. I doubt I can blog with out one.

Speaking of mommy updates; One thing I can say about mommy hood is that, now since things have toned down a bit and my baby sleeps through the night (THANK GOD!) It leaves me with some time on my hands. After a day full of  tummy time, reading time, nap time, mirror time, diaper time, singing time, dancing time, playing time and even FaceTime, Im left with some reflection time….. Which can be good when used appropriately because I gain understanding about a lot that I found myself confused about.

So! We are definitely getting somewhere with this. To be candid, I have to admit that I am constantly excited about getting through this year, just finishing it completely? I know time is flying by and I really do appreciate it because after this year is over I can finally rid of all the memories of “last year this time I was…” Everything time I think about what I was doing last year especially during a holiday or celebration, the thought would be spoiled by chaos that I continually fed and was consistent in my life. Which brings me to my point of this blog. Are you ready to face your ugly?

A few weeks ago I actually took time out to initiate some apologies to people that I didn’t wish well on. It was funny because I thought to myself, “I’m sure Im forgetting some people.” The reason I did this and was able to was because I attempted to face my ugly. I say attempt because one I didn’t make it past the first person and two because I knew that the apology didn’t really open up dialogue for the other person to tell me how much I had hurt them and honestly because I didn’t want to know. I would be quick to think how a person who hurt me had no clue as to how hurtful their actions were. The fact is they won’t have an idea unless they wanted one. Facing your ugly is difficult. You have to remind yourself of times that are embarrassing, petty, painful, and stressful.  You also have to admit to your wrong doing, regrets and trauma. This isn’t exactly a vacation on an island but it can lead to one. Eventually after facing your ugly, you can get that peace of mind, kick your feet up and sip some tea:-)

If you are in the process of facing your ugly or want to, hear are five questions to ask yourself to follow through.

1. What was the incident and what role did I play in the chaos? What role did I play in the solution?

2. What could I have done differently if I was given the opportunity to do so?

3. Did I make decisions based on good intentions?

4. Am I proud of how I acted?

5. If someone did the same to myself would I be happy or okay with it?

Its definitely a learning process and this has helped me gain understanding and to move on. So I felt compelled to share:-)

Stay wreckless,

Aminah

 

2 Comments

  1. Joshua Menifee
    September 30, 2014 / 8:49 am

    Good read.

  2. Giovanna
    October 1, 2014 / 7:42 am

    I just picked up my phone to research an “ugly” that keeps creeping up on me and I need a solution. Your blog alert posted and now, I’m feeling ‘some kind of way’. It’s real! Thank you for having the courage to speak it.

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