Whats good wreckless people?!
I hope everyone enjoyed their 4th of July. This holiday definitely took a turn from last year; instead of the beach with my bikini body, I was breastfeeding picking out a new pot set online from Macy’s. Yep! Ish is real. You know its real when during a holiday all you can make sure you do is capitalize on a big sale at a department store.
Anyway as a new mommy I can’t help but constantly check the web for questions and concerns about my newborn and mommy hood just to make sure things are normal and to know I’m not alone out here in these streets. Thats when I came across an article asking mothers, “What type of mother do you want to be?”. Absolutely thought provoking. It reminds me of that question, “Where do you see yourself in five years?” that we were constantly asked in college. Questions like these are difficult for me to answer and I’m usually best at answering what I don’t want and sure enough I thought of five things that even the slightest thought of myself doing kills me inside and gave me a chance to poke fun. This is that ish I don’t like, take a look:
Breastfeeding until toddler age
Why does the child in this picture look like he’s eating Kale chips with that breast milk. Im sorry but once my baby can order his own food at a restaurant, I will be done breastfeeding!!! I’ve seen it too! Kids go from snacking on crackers to sucking on their mother’s breasts. I will die the day my son is potty trained still squeezing on me. I’m going to have to hit his forehead with all five fingers like, “Bye felicia”. Sorry boo, not this mommy.
I’m not sure who came up with this idea and I half way understand why it would be convenient but absolutely not! First of all even though my baby is only two weeks old, he is a grown man! He even belches like one and lets not get started on his poops. I am not sharing my bed with nobody’s child. First of all it looks really unsafe for infants and secondly my bed will be the only thing to myself; from here until never will I have many things to myself.
Baby Daddy Drama
Ugh! My life will never be a scene from the movie Baby Boy! The day I’m anywhere arguing with my child’s father should be the day hell freezes over. I’ve heard and scene horror stories and I can’t even stomach the thought in my mind. Arguing period is super played out to me. Most of the time you are mirroring who you argue with and all I have to say is my mama didn’t raise no fool! Boop!
No shade to Beyonce but why does Blue Ivy look like she could’ve been casted in the movie Don’t be a Menance to Society. Bruh! It kills me when I see mothers looking stylish and fly and then here comes their kids looking like starving children on commercials, “only ten cents a day will feed little Kenya”. Absolutely not! If anything my baby will be more fly than myself because I will still continue to search for bargains at Conway, but shhh don’t tell nobody:)
Yelling at my child in public
I know I say this now and some mothers are laughing at me but every time I see this happen I cringe. The picture above is exactly how moms look and most of the time moms are yelling at their children for being children. I realize that my child is not going to listen, want to play around, and drive my nerves up the wall but I don’t want it to revert to me yelling at him. It’s just not a good look. Sheesh.
Welp this was fun! I’m still wrapping the idea of even being a mother, like this kid has no idea what he got himself into but as always comments welcomed below:)