Its me not you…..

Whats up wreckless people?!

It has been a minute as usual but when I come with it, believe there is a good reason.

So her it is…

Everyone is familiar with the break up line “it’s not you, it’s me” right? Well today I am officially breaking up with roommates FOREVER!!!!

It’s not them, its me.

After two unsuccesful roommate situations in New York; one of which was with a so-called friend and another with a Craigslister to now recently a complete sweet heart of a roommate, I’ve realized its me.

In a world where being clean and cleaning are subjective; I just can’t take it.

In a world where the bill’s cost is $52.10 and people give you $50; I just can’t take it.

In a world where people wash their dishes and leave them on the dry rack for several days; I just can’t take it.

In a world where females who call you a friend wants to hang out with someone you were involved with and not mention it to you; I just can’t take it.

In a world where people want to write notes and email you issues when you sleep pretty much next to each other; I just can’t take it.

In a world where people use the last of your butter and take two days to replace it; I just can’t take it.

Look this is sounds like a vent but I deserve it. I have been through hell when it comes to roommates. I guess I should’ve realized things would be tough when it was hard to live with my twin sister during college but the way I figured was how hard would it be to save some money, clean  up after yourselves and live freely. Clearly this idea resides on a personal island in Dubai.

Since I have lived with two roommates from hell, I guess all I can fathom is the perfect roommate.

The perfect roommate would stay to herself yet remain cordial when in the presence of the other person. Not too much dialogue but a brief small talk to make things welcoming. The perfect roommate would have her own dishes, pots, pans, seasonings, utensils, and food. The perfect roommate wouldn’t mind THOROUGHLY cleaning the bathroom every other week and wiping down the stove after they cook food, especially greasy food. The perfect roommate would know when its time to party, when its time to work, and when its time to communicate otherwise. The perfect roommate wouldn’t pay the bills late and if so communicate why. The perfect roommate would buy off brand products after using the other’s top quality products. The perfect roommate wouldn’t be nosey, demanding attention, obnoxious, and a liar. No one likes a liar.


CLEARLY there is no such thing as a perfect roommate and unfortunately I haven’t found someone close enough to this person so I’m out. I will take the blame. I’m gone forever. You were my past, an ugly past. I appreciate you for making me realize what I can and cannot endure. I appreciate you for allowing me to experience the few good times. I appreciate you for the material for my comedy act. I really do, the audience does as well. However, it is time for me to move on. To bigger and better things. I know my perfect roommate is out there, staring me right in the face in the mirror.

Yup. Its not you, its me.

stay wreckless,



1 Comment

  1. Nzingha Murphy
    August 6, 2013 / 12:18 pm

    Love this!

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