Self Defeat

What’s good wreckless people! Tapping away here on my brand new iPhone:-P lol It feels good and I must say I was definitely missing out dealing with the blackberry! (I endorse this message)

It’s been a few weeks since I posted a blog but I love this occasion that I write for today! Passion! I love when I’m evoked through life experiences to pour all of my thoughts of an issue on here! So! I hope you enjoy reading and as always I welcome comments and concerns.

So here’s the story. Lately I had been feeling a certain type of way about a friend of mine; I was sensing half hearted effort and lack of support. My first instinct was to ignore it just off the strength that I may be hypersensitive due to personal circumstances, so I did. However eventually I had an opportunity to express my feelings and this was the response I received. “I just feel like no matter what I do, I will never be a good enough friend nor the friend you want me to be and my efforts don’t matter”. The old me would’ve gotten defensive and tried to prove the point that I don’t want this person to feel this way and try to understand what I was doing to make this person feel that way blah blah blah but instead I didn’t continue much more of the conversation and I sat back… I had to really think and…

This statement REALLY got me thinking!

How do you even consider your efforts efforts when you already feel they will be ineffective?

Whats the point of wasting time on something that you clearly have given up on?

Do I share this same attitude about things that I do?

How has this same attitude affected my pursuits towards my personal and career goals?

Why be called a friend if you don’t feel like you are one?

Why act like you want to be something when you already claimed you are not?

And what feelings about myself do I place on others because of my own insecurities?

Those were a few questions I asked myself and at the end of it all I came up with this. That kind of self defeat lingers in me. What those words were was a reflection of my deepest fear: “not being enough”. At the end of the day if I’m so focused on not becoming enough the end result is I won’t be. And as for my friend that statement alone explained their half hearted efforts and lack of support. You can not try to be something that you don’t think you will be good at. Words like that counts yourself out without giving yourself a chance! SELF DEFEAT!

That’s like saying “I want to loose weight” then saying “no matter what I do Im not going to lose weight” you are setting yourself up for a huge fail!

Sometimes we think we are trying… We read, we study, we perform but if in our hearts we feel that our efforts don’t mean anything well then guess what?! THEY DON’T!!!!

So kill the self defeat! Proclaim your greatness and believe in yourself but most of all stay wreckless:-P

That’s all people

-Aminah

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