When offering what I thought was good advice during a time of mourning, was dismissed, I almost took offense. But then I had to remember that not all people handle things like I do. Then I thought well maybe other people should consider that very same point also but THEN i had to realize that not all people think like I do. OMG this is soooo CONFUSING(runs in the corner and screams)!!!! Bottom line is “to each its own”.
Dealing with a loss in the family can be a hard time. Even after so many years it can still seem UNREAL. As if that person will soon return and things will resume to how they were. Tears, Pain, Anger, Depression, and a whole slew of emotions develop which lead to sleepless nights, lack of motivation, and mental instability to just say the least. With that understood I wholeheartedly believe that even through these circumstances we have a choice. A choice to be sad, depressed, pathetic, and lonely or the complete opposite… So why not choose to smile? How about taking that same effort that is put into that pain and apply more to claim happiness. This may be where you are thinking “sounds easier said than done, Its just not that easy. Im saying fight for it. Im sure its worth it.
Last year my aunt passed away. It was the saddest thing ever because I went from seeing someone who was full of so much life deteriorate within a months time span. I had to see her suffer and after her passing I was genuinely happy for my aunt because she was no longer enduring this pain. What made it easier to cope after her passing was how my family celebrated for her! There was a Panamanian band, a HUGE feast, and a long night of the electric slide (y’all know I killed this). I was so assured that my aunt returned ‘home’ rested and at peace! What was most inspiring to me was how my grandmother handled it. This was her sister, her travel buddy and partner in crime. But still my grandma was at an all time praise; She said “I know my God” and kept her smile.
I always wondered how I would respond if I lost a sibling…. Would I scream (probably)? Cry(more than likely)? throw a tantrum of some sort(I think so)? or even try to put myself in harm’s way(you bet I would)…? but I don’t know. However seeing how strong my grandmother was during that rough time I am less worried for when it may happen….. You don’t have to pretend to be strong but genuinely want to smile and remember the wonderful thoughts of that person and know that God, because he is a mighty God(don’t worry I won’t get extremely religious and start shouting in this blog) will do his will.
All in all some time the advice you don’t necessarily want to hear nor agree with shouldn’t be stepped over nor dismissed because you don’t agree. There are good intentions in my kind words and they come from a genuine place. Simply take it for what it is or even for what it isn’t. Either way “to each its own”.
Peace and Love wrecklessly,